Letters from a soldier
by Just Remember Life Goes On
Summary: Edward is a soldier fighting in Afghanistan,who has had to leave his wife Bella and son EJ behind. These are the letters he has sent to his wife at home whilst he's away. A fan fic in support of the soldiers fighting in afghanistan. Love to them all.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

November 12th

1st day away

Dear my beloved Bella,

Today is my first day away from you yet it feels like it has been years, although I promise you one year from now, I will hold you in my arms and little EJ will have his daddy back again.

You have to understand that choosing to fight over here in Afghanistan and to leave both of you behind is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but yet somehow it feels right. You know that since I was little I have always felt that it is my duty to help hundreds of people, and fighting in this war feels like my way of giving back. For me it is a duty to my country and a duty to the people I'm trying to protect to be here fighting. For years I have trained to do this and now it's finally my time to fight for what's right, I _need _to do this.

When I was leaving you at the airport, I swear my heart broke. You are so special to me but I had to leave you behind to protect you. Although don't worry. I promise that with every fibre of my being I will fight here to make you proud, to give EJ a dad who is worth something.

The ride over here went smoothly, I've managed to meet a few of my fellow soldiers and they seem like a nice bunch. I feel sure that I will make some lifelong friends here. The camp is decent... better than I thought. The sleeping quarters is quite large although I will always miss sleeping with you in my arms. We have only had to do minimal training, as we are setting off properly tomorrow to start fighting. If I'm honest, I'm scared, although when I picture your face that all goes away. You make me feel strong Bella; you will help me through this.

I'm sure you and EJ will be ok; I know he's only 10 months old but he's a fighter and makes me so proud. He has grown so much and it's horrible to know I will miss a whole year of his life. Although I know you will be the best-est mother ever, although please remind him daddy loves him so much it hurts; It pains me to know I'm leaving you and him.

Bella I know this is hard but trust me it will get easier, we may be so far away but we still look up at the same sky. If you ever get scared baby, just look at the stars and know we are both being shined down upon. Even if you can't see me, know I'm always going to be there looking out for you.

I've got to go as we have an early start tomorrow. Tomorrow is when it begins. I will write to you when possible but I don't know when that will be. Remember when tomorrow comes you need to know I will be fighting for you

I left you my heart, please look after it.

Love

Edward

Xxx


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

**I'm planning on updating this all today so please keep an eye out for updates.**

**Please review to show support**

25th December

Christmas day

Merry Christmas my darling Bella and beautiful baby boy EJ!

I know how special Christmas is to you so I'm so sorry to be away honey. I can only imagine the look on EJs face as he opens his presents, I'm sure you spoiled him rotten, although I know he deserves it. I'm sorry this is the first proper time I've been able to write to you since I've left although it's been so hectic.

To be honest some days have been brutal, the early mornings, and just the physical work of the job. Although despite the physical pain, the emotional pain of being away from you two is the worst. Although my reward is to see the looks on some of the faces of the people I'm saving, and the thought of knowing your home waiting for me.

I hope you and EJ like your presents, I'm sure Alice would have given you the ones from me by now. I know it's not much but inside that locket I gave you is the truth. I mean the words I had engraved in there. "I will love you forever". I love the thought of knowing that is resting above your heart. And no matter whatever happens, I will always love you.

I hope EJ is doing well and the winter isn't being too cold for him. I would have loved to have taken him to see Santa like we promised but we both know that's not possible. I hope you've been taking lots of pictures so I can see my little boy grow up, he must be so big by now! I'm assuming you're around my parent's house having the big Christmas dinner we planned, knowing my mum's cooking is the best.

We have a Christmas dinner of sorts; we only have limited supplies although the cooks tried their best. We have a small Christmas tree in the corner of the eating area and that is our piece of Christmas. Although me and the boys have been singing lots of Christmas songs to raise spirits. So far I have made lots of friends and it feels like one big family. They also have loved ones their missing as well.

I have to say I prefer our Christmases at home. How Esme and Renee would spend hours in the kitchen cooking Charlie and Carlisle chatting about sports. The way jasper and Emmett would fight over which of their new games they wanted to play first and how Alice and Rosalie would spend most of the time Christmas shopping. My favourite part though would be when me and you would decorate the tree. Our tinsel fights and how I would always lift you up so you could place the angel at the top. To me you are my angel.

Do you remember why Christmas is particularly special? This day two years ago was the day I proposed to you and you let me become the luckiest guy in the world by saying yes. I can still remember the look on your face as you unwrapped the box and the way your beautiful brown eyes widened as you saw what was inside. I can still picture the tears which came down your face as I slipped it on your finger and the sweet kiss we shared after.

Merry Christmas, my love, and a happy new year. I know next Christmas we will share together with our little boy.

Hope your still looking after my heart

Love

Edward

Xxx


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

**I'm planning on updating this all today so please keep an eye out for updates. **

**Please review to show support**

15th January

EJ's first birthday

Happy 1st birthday EJ!

Daddy is so sorry he can't be there but he knows mummy will make it the best birthday ever! Talking about mummy, I'm so sorry Bella that I didn't write sooner but to be honest there has just been no time, it's currently night-time and I'm writing this whilst looking up at the stars and thinking of you. It's the main time I've been able to find peace.

I have to say fighting here is better and worse than I thought. It is more physical and tiring then I could have imagined, it takes up so much time, yet I always find some to think about you and EJ. Also I love knowing by being here I'm helping hundreds of people. My company are great; I've got loads of new best friends, although right now my best bud is a guy named Ben. He has a wife to and a little girl at home, I said maybe we should all meet up once we get out of here and EJ and his daughter Ellie can have a play date, who knows they may grow up in love like we did.

Anyway enough about over here, what's it like back in Forks? I have to say I actually miss the constant rain and green everywhere. I hope EJ is enjoying his birthday party; he must be so big by now! Although knowing Esme he still has a birthday cake bigger than him, but knowing my brother Emmett it will all be eaten as soon as he blows out his candle.

I have to say I'm missing you all so much, I know it might sound weird but I swear when I'm most scared I can all hear you encouraging me or Emmett telling me to "get my butt into gear and do this thing". I hope you've been doing ok. I know it's hard to raise a child alone, never mind a year old baby. Although sweetheart, you should know you're never alone, even if I'm not right next to you physically I'm always there, never forget that.

Knowing my family I know you've never been alone with EJ for too long. I bet by the time I come back Alice would have brought you two whole new wardrobes. Its 10 months baby, 10 months till I get to see my bouncing baby boy and his beautiful mother, also known as my pretty little wife.

Tell EJ daddy loves him and he will never have to have a birthday without me again. I love you both so much it hurts. Also when you give him my present please take pictures, that way I can still see his face when he opens to see the huge teddy daddy got him.

Please take care of yourself and EJ baby girl, happy birthday baby boy to!

I know you've still got my heart, don't lose it under all of the wrapping paper.

Love

Edward

Xxx


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

**I'm planning on updating this all today so please keep an eye out for updates. **

**Please review to show support**

March 2nd

Happy 2nd anniversary!

Dear Bella,

Happy second anniversary love! I know I keep saying it but you don't know how much I've been missing you these past months. I know it's only been 4 months but it feels like it's been 6 decades.

To think that this time two years ago I was being married to my beautiful blushing bride, yet two years later I'm a soldier fighting in Afghanistan. I guess I'm now your soldier man and you're my gorgeous military wife.

Speaking of wives, my friendship is still going strong with Ben. We're on the same rota so we both go out on the same patrol each day. No matter how dark it is we always manage to make each other laugh. Last month it was another soldier's birthday, and me and Ben were in charge of giving him his cake, although instead in true style we ended up shoving half of it into his face, sending everyone into fits of laughter. That's what I love about being here; it's like one big family. No one was angry or cross we did it, were like brothers, all of us, and we were playing a joke. The birthday boy was the first to erupt in laughter which sent everyone into it as well. Although don't worry he got his revenge, by that I mean the rest of the cake was thrown straight at our faces, did I mention he has the best shot in the company? I have to say that day produced the most laughter since I've been here, for a while I swore I would never hear the sound again.

Anyway today is our special day, the day you became Mrs Isabella Marie Cullen, I still think that is the most perfect name in the world. I'm currently replaying our wedding vowels over and over in my head. You don't know how much it meant to me when you finally said "I do". You truly made me the happiest man in the world. You were also the most beautiful bride in the world, honey you looked absolutely exquisite, like an angel sent from heaven above. Yet I'm lucky to know no matter how beautiful you are on the outside, you're twice that on the inside.

You that day made me the luckiest guy in the world. I can still picture your face whenever I'm scared, it's like a reflex and you're my comfort blanket. To many times out here I've been scared. Enough about that. How are you and EJ? I hope he enjoyed his birthday. Geez, he must be so big by now! I hope everyone else is faring well, has Emmett proposed to Rosalie yet? When he does I will make sure that I'm the one who scares him by assuring him he will say "my awful wedded wife" at the altar this time.

On our wedding day I was so scared I would say that that I started stuttering on that line. Do you remember that sweetheart? Although you should know you will never be awful. To me you are a perfect mother and wife. I love you so much!

Happy anniversary baby!

Two years ago today I officially gave you my heart, although it always belonged to you.

Love

Edward

Xxx


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

**I'm planning on updating this all today so please keep an eye out for updates. **

**Please review to show support**

25th April

Dear my sweet, sweet Bella,

I knew that coming out here to Afghanistan was dangerous; it is a place of war and will probably be for years to come. I knew that no matter how much I prayed death is a possibility. At the moment our company is a man down.

But why did that man have to be Ben, _my_ best friend Ben huh? What did he ever do to anyone, nothing, he did nothing. I mean he is a husband and a dad. He has a little girl and a wife at home who he will never be able to see again. Why is life so unfair?

War is a dangerous place, I know that. You have told me thousands of times and I have thought it a thousand more. But this isn't the 20th century; it's the 21st.Surely with the new equipment at war people wouldn't have to die? Why is there even this war still on? Is something really worth the deaths of others?

Ben didn't die today though; he died on the 9th, 16 whole days ago. The 9th of April was the day he died in my arms whilst I could do nothing to save him. We were on patrol going down a new road. I told him to turn back before it got dark but he said while there's light; there are people we could help. Why didn't I make him turn back Bella?

We passed a car and inside we thought we heard something crying. Ben went to look first and I followed. God I was so stupid! He was almost at the car door when he turned around to face me. It felt like it happened in slow motion. He turned pale, his eyes had become bloodshot. All I can hear is him shouting one thing.

Run.

I turned around and began to, I was so scared. But why didn't I turn around to make sure he was following? To run away together from the car. Once I was behind our vehicle only then was I coward enough to turn around. I saw him fall to the ground. I felt the impact of the car bomb as it exploded. I heard his screams of pain as his limbs were ripped off. I smelt the dust and smoke. But I didn't run straight away to see if he was ok. I stayed behind the vehicle like a little girl and didn't try to help. I was so stupid! If I had ran over there I could have saved him! I am a coward Bella. You deserve a better husband and EJ deserves a dad to look up to.

Only once I stopped shaking did I turn back to see him. I ran over but it was too late. I was too late. I felt for a pulse but he was gone. I held his dead body in my arms before more people from the company came over to see what happened. Bella I can still feel him touching my skin, and I can see his open dead eyes staring at me whenever I close mine.

I can't see you when I'm scared anymore Bella. My comfort blanket is gone and I feel raw. I failed Ben, we promised to look out for each other but because of me being a coward his wife has lost her husband and Ellie's dad is gone. I failed him Bella.

I'm sorry.

You have my heart, although you deserve a better one than mine

Love

Edward

Xxx


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

**I'm planning on updating this all today so please keep an eye out for updates. **

**Please review to show support**

June 20th

My birthday

Dear my darling wife,

I hope all is ok back in Forks; I miss you and EJ so much it's driving me crazy. Today I am officially 25, half way to 50. What have I achieved in this time? I found my one true love; I have got married, had a beautiful baby boy, achieved my ambition of becoming a soldier fighting in Afghanistan, and let one of my fellow soldiers die in my arms...

His death still haunts me; will it still be so painful by the time in 26? I've been having nightmares, although I reality they're flashbacks. It's because of me he died.

People keep telling me it wasn't my fault, it's ok to be scared and that there is nothing I can do now, although I know there is so much I could have done. I was a coward and it's because of me his wife is a widow and Ellie doesn't have a daddy anymore.

I feel like you are too good for me. I only now know how lucky I am to have you and EJ. I know how undeserving of you I am but Bella it would break me if you ever left me. When I am scared I still can't see you any more... is that a sign? Is it trying to tell me you don't want me anymore? I wouldn't blame you. I am a failure.

The boys here are trying to throw me a birthday party but I know it will bring back to many memories of those I don't have with me. The once happy memory of me and Ben throwing that birthday cake is now a scar embedded in my mind.

I can remember my last birthday. EJ was only 5 months old but I swear he was the size of an 8 month old baby. I can still picture when you woke me up with him on my tummy with that bright red pointy birthday hat on his head. And I can feel when he clasped his chubby little fingers around one of mine and gave me a little gurgle. It was my best birthday waking up with you two by my side; you're all I ever need to make me feel whole.

Although you're not here. I don't feel whole. Guilt is coursing through half of me from Ben. I don't deserve to wake up happy because I'm a coward. You deserve better than me. The war is getting tougher out here although so is life. I'm meant to be a soldier to save people, but because of me someone died.

Please forgive me for not being deserving of you.

You have my heart; break it if that's what will make you happy.

Love

Edward

Xxx


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

**I'm planning on updating this all today so please keep an eye out for updates. **

**Please review to show support**

July 2nd

Dear my gorgeous Bella,

I don't know why but today I feel like I can put Ben's death behind me. I feel rejuvenated. Like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

When I sleep I no longer have the nightmares, just the sweet dreams of you, me and EJ. And when I wake up I feel more alive than I did. I don't know why this is happening, although I think it may be because of my new friend Marcus. This is his second year fighting in Afghanistan and he went through the same situation I did last year. He has told me that when Ben died it was his time, and I was there to watch so I could spread his memory. He has taught me that it wasn't my fault; I couldn't have done anything else except let Ben die a hero's death.

At camp we have set up a small memoriam for him. I have found that there I have been able to properly grieve for the loss of him. Now I can think clearer and I'm starting to enjoy the job I came here to do. As a company we have been doing so well! Apart from Ben we have had no other deaths and no other losses of personnel. Also the injuries sustained are only minimal so we have been fortunate.

Although best of all, whenever I feel scared, which thankfully hasn't been too often, I can picture your face again. You don't know how happy that image makes me feel! You make me strong Bella!

I hope you and EJ are faring well, I bet this summer you've been having lots of trips to the beach at La Push like we would do every summer. But make sure you put on sun cream! I remember 5 years ago when you came back as red as your perfect blush.

Also its only 4 months till I get to see you again baby, I feel sometimes like I'm only living to see you again. In just four months I will be able to hold you in my arms forever. I can remember when I was writing a letter to tell you it has been only 4 months since I last saw you, now it has been 8 long months, too many months to be away from you.

It's because of you I've started to fight harder than ever before; my goal is to give you a husband to be proud of and EJ a daddy he won't be ashamed of. I'm sorry if my last few letters have been sad but I've been in a dark place. Although I've now escaped the darkness and I'm going to keep fighting till my final breath.

I will always love you, and I always have. You're not just in my life, you are my life.

You have my heart, never forget that.

Love

Edward

Xxx


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

**I'm planning on updating this all today so please keep an eye out for updates. **

**Please review to show support**

September 13th

Happy birthday Bella!

Dear my beautiful birthday girl,

Happy birthday to you,  
>Happy birthday to you,<br>Happy birthday dear Bella,  
>Happy birthday to you!<p>

You're finally as old as I am but I bet you look as young as ever. I know I'm not there darling, but I hope you have the best birthday ever! I'm sure you're being showered with gifts, and I'm sure that you're saying you don't deserve all of them but the truth is you do!

To think this day 9 years ago, it was your 16th birthday. I remember setting up that picnic on the beach at La Push. I gave you my jacket when you were cold and you layed on my lap as we watched the sun go down. That night I asked you if you would do me the honour of becoming my girlfriend and you said yes. Can you still feel the air whooshing around us as I spun you around in the air in my excitement?

Do you remember what else made that day special? Your 16th birthday was also the day of our first kiss. I don't want to offend you, but we can never beat our first kiss. It was truly magical. I swear I saw fireworks as our lips met. Since then for every birthday I have given you a birthday kiss although it pains me I can't give you one this year. Will you wait so I can give you a belated kiss?

I hope EJ got you lots of presents like I told him to. He knows how much his mummy does for him and what a special mummy he has. I hope he's been a good little boy to, not too much crying I hope! I bet Esme has made you a huge cake, which is probably the size of EJ knowing mum.

Before I forget, the rest of the guys and Marcus wish you a happy birthday to, Mrs Cullen. Some days are tough although were managing. If I ever feel down it raises my spirits to know your waiting there at home. It's not too long now baby, only 2 more months to go till I can give you my birthday kiss.

When I get home I will give you and EJ the parties you deserve. Although tonight I want you to know I'm going to think about you with every part of me I can. Last night I saw a shooting star up in the dark sky, and my wish was that you would have the best birthday ever. Also go into my bedside table and open the top draw. Inside there is a little birthday present and card wrapped up in birthday paper. I know it's not much but it's the best I could do on short notice before I left.

Hope you love it Bella, but I know I will always love you more.

My heart is beating happy birthday for you tonight baby.

Love

Edward

Xxx


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

**I'm planning on updating this all today so please keep an eye out for updates. Also I'm so sorry I haven't updated for so long, but I've almost finished writing it now. **

**Please review to show support**

8th November

Almost home

Dear Bella,

It is mere days till I will see you and EJ again and I can't wait!

My time fighting here has taught me so much; I have seen so much yet seen so little. This trip has changed me yet I still love you as much as ever. I have grown as a man. Experienced things I would have never thought I would as a child playing soldiers with Emmett in the back yard.

I have experienced good and bad, yet I can't regret my decision to fight here. I have protected my country and hundreds of people, and as my wife I hope with all my heart that that has made you proud.

To think this time last year was the last day I saw you. I remember me just holding you in my arms, with little EJ on your lap. That moment had never seemed so perfect in all my life. Just holding you was all the bravery I needed. Bella, you give me the power to fight and carry on.

That was why I knew that you would be ok when I left. Bella, you are the strongest person I know, and the most amazing. I don't know how you do it, but I hope that you've kept it up whilst I've been gone. Although I'm sure you have.

I can't keep the smirk off of my face knowing that in less than 72 hours you are going to be back in my arms and me in yours. Where we belong. I promise to kiss you until we are both breathless. I also can't wait to hold EJ in my arms; he must have grown so much! I will always regret that I won't have been with EJ for so long and in such a early part of his life, that is time I will never ever be able to get back, and that though makes me sick. Although I hope that being here I have made my little man proud.

Morale here at camp is at an all time high, everyone is psyched that we are going home so soon, back to our beloved loved ones. We are going out on our last ever scout soon. One more mission and this year's work will be over. I will go out thinking of you, EJ and everyone back home as always.

I am going to be with you so soon, my love, that I can almost feel you in my arms. So keep safe for me Bella, I want everyone to be safe.

You have my heart, when I am back with you, it will be complete.

Love

Edward

Xxx


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

**I'm planning on updating this all today so please keep an eye out for updates. Also I'm so sorry I haven't updated for so long, but I've almost finished writing it now.**

***NOTE I have never received a letter like this, or a letter from the war department, so please excuse if it doesn't follow usual protocol. I did research a little, although this was wrote for this story specifically so I hope it does not offend anyone* **

**Please review to show support**

War Department

The adjutant general's office

12 Kingston Street

Forks, WASHINGTON

9th November 

Dear Mrs Cullen,

It is with my upmost regret and sympathy that I write to inform you that Sergeant Edward Cullen from the second Washington Battalion died on the 8th November whilst on patrol. Around 13:00 your husband and a few of his fellow battalion had set off on duty although unfortunately your husband died from the impact of a car bomb around 13:30. His death was instantaneous. He died pushing away some of his fellow comrades, all of whom survived the bomb impact.

I can only give my deepest sympathies as Sergeant Edward Cullen was a dedicated soldier and a fine man. Never was there a day which passed where you or his son EJ wasn't mentioned. He will be missed in the company.

I realise there is nothing I can say or do to bring back the life of your husband although I can tell you that in his life he made a difference to hundreds, and you should have comfort knowing your husband died a heroic death for the lives of others.

I wish for you to know my deepest sympathy is with you.

Sincerely yours,

A.,

Major General,

The adjutant general


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

**I'm planning on updating this all today so please keep an eye out for updates. Also I'm so sorry I haven't updated for so long, but I've almost finished writing it now.**

**Finally a Bella POV!, also I'm sorry if the last letter was upsetting or a shock, but it is a risk when at war, and I always knew it was going to be a part of this story. After this I may also write an epilogue. **

**Please review to show support**

December 18th

Dear my brave soldier,

Edward, it's me, Bella. I know you may never see this letter, but I hope that you will always have known what's inside it; I am just sorry it took so long to write.

Your death was so sudden, my heart snapped when I got the letter through. I wanted just as much as you did to be in your arms. When I read the letter, I became numb. Edward, you are, have, and will always be my first and only love. I will never ever forget you, and I couldn't if I tried. I have only just fully been able to realise that you are gone... physically anyways. Although your spirit will always remain, my love. I just feel as if I can't cope. You are my everything but I will never be able to see you again, feel you again, and kiss you again. But I will always be able to love you forever.

To you, this may seem to be the first letter I have wrote, but believe me it isn't. Every day I have wrote in a diary for you, so that you would be able to read about all that has happened and not feel as if you have missed out on any of our lives. Whenever you were sad, I felt your pain. Whenever you were happy, it brought tears of joy to my eyes. Never a day went by where I didn't think about you, and I know EJ knew someone was missing.

Though now, you will never be able to read about my life without you when you were away, but I know that from your place in heaven you will finally be able to see the rest of it, and see EJ grow up. He has grown so much in the time you weren't with us like you thought. He is a healthy and bouncy little boy, and has grown to adorn your messy bronze hair and emerald eyes which I adore.

I know he will miss you this Christmas. We all will. I know it was one of your favourite times of year, a time where we were all together. This Christmas won't be the same. For another year and years to come we won't be able to decorate the tree, or have a tinsel fight. Although from now on I know you will be the angel on top of it. Like last year, a space next to me will be at the table. A sign that you won't ever be forgotten. I won't let that happen.

EJ will grow up knowing what a strong, brave, amazing and loving man you are, Edward. I know he will look up to you with admiration in his little eyes. Fighting in Afghanistan you made us all so, so proud. You went there to help people, which I know you did. Their lives will never be the same, but it is not fair that yours had to end because of it. You did nothing wrong, and it makes me sick to think that you died after doing so much right out of your own goodness. But you didn't die in vain, never.

You died an admirable death, but it eats me up inside to think of the pain you must have been in. It is not right that there is a war in the first place, why do we all have to fight? We are one world and fighting will get us nowhere, it won't give us fulfilling happiness, just a glimpse of what we think will make us happy momentarily. Fighting is a part of growing up, whether it is between friends, parents, siblings or anyone. It is just wrong when people die because of it Edward. Because of someone else's problems I will never see you again, and you won't be able to see at all. How is that fair?

I know you fought because you thought it was right, that it would make people proud of you, and it did. But no matter what you wanted to do, you would have always had made me proud. And to this day, I will and have always been proud of you Edward. Leaving home and fighting was not an easy thing to do, but you put it in your stride, my brave, brave man. You have made everyone proud Edward, your family, your country, your wife, and your son.

I know that up in the sky you will always look down on us, protecting us in your own way. Maybe it was your fate that you would go to Afghanistan, and I have to believe that it wasn't cruel that you had to die, it may have been planned for thousands of years that that would be the kindest way for you to go, and that thought keeps me strong, my love.

I knew from the second I met you that my life would never met the same. And that wave overcame me again as soon as I kissed you goodbye before you went away. Risk is a part of your job, and you and I went into it knowing the possible consequences. I knew there was a chance that you wouldn't come back, and I knew that no matter what the Edward who would come back wouldn't be the same as the one who left. War is a life changing thing, but I would have always loved you no matter what, Edward. I will always love you. No matter what.

I will always have my memories of you Edward, and they can and will never be taken away from me. The first time we met, our wedding, me crushing your hand when I was giving birth to our son EJ. But you never minded that, you were just as happy as me to see our little boy.

His and all of our lives will never be the same Edward. I feel broken and I will never tick just right. But that is ok. I don't mind. It was worth it to have been with you, no matter for how long. We have always known the consequences; we just never wanted to accept them.

You are always going to be here for me Edward, I know it. You have made me the proudest wife in the whole world, and EJ the proudest son.

You will never be forgotten Edward, that would be impossible. You will always be in our hearts, my brave soldier. You will always be missed. You imprinted on all of our hearts, permanently.

You may have given me your heart, but I want you to know that you had, and always will have my heart.

One day our hearts will beat together as one again.

Love

Bella

Xxx


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight**

**Edward is a soldier who has just flown over to fight in Afghanistan and he is writing letters to his wife Bella.**

**I'm writing this fan fiction in support for all of the brave soldiers fighting in Afghanistan, please review to show your support for them.**

**This is the final chapter of "letters from a soldier" and I really hope you have liked the story. I myself have not been directly affected by war, but writing this has given me only a slight idea of the pain which can come for those fighting away and those left at home. I am sorry if this has offended anyone who has been affected by war, and if I have it has not been intentional. I wrote this to show that just because not everyone comes home, that doesn't mean that they are completely gone. They will always be here, and so will what they have done to help. **

**Please review to show support**

8th November

Dear my only love,

I have written to you every day for decades, yet I hope that somehow you have, and are still reading every letter I write to you. Even after this time, I still feel as if deep inside of me am still mourning your death, and will never stop. I can still feel your arms around me when I sleep in my lonely bed and your breath on my neck from when you used to hold me. Although I know that these are all figments of my imagination, and that you will never be here again.

My wanting of you has never changed, I yearn for you in every way possible but I know that soon we will be as one again. I am not young like the first day we met. Decades have passed and I am now old, withered and wrinkled. Yet in my head, I still feel young when I think of you, your dazzling emerald eyes and golden-bronze uncontrollable locks.

EJ and his wife had their second child a little while ago. He has grown up so much since you last saw him! He has turned into a fine young gentleman and married a fine young lady. I still almost find it humorous that he and she found each other, just like you said. EJ and Ellie, the daughter of your old friend Ben from Afghanistan. They did grow up in love like you said they might. They met the day of your funeral and have been inseparable for years.

When you died, and your funeral came around, I was still numb inside, and I fear I have been every day since. I sat there at the front of the church adorned in black with a confused EJ besides me. Then a lady came and held me while I cried. That lady was Angela, Ben's wife. I cried till my eyes were red and raw on her shoulder while Ellie held EJ's hand and Angela told him everything would be ok. Since then she has been my rock. She knows what I went through with her and Ben. Sort of. To me, nothing could compare to losing what sparks between me and you so close to it igniting again.

As me and Angela spent time together, coincidently so did EJ and Ellie. They would play together throughout their childhood and held each other's little hands on their first day of school together. A day which I so wish you would have been there for, to hold me as I wished him good luck, and tied his shoe laces before he set off on his own adventure.

You would be so proud of him though Edward. He got straight A's on every report card and nothing but nice comments from his teachers; and whenever I told him "well done", he would always look up at me with big wide eyes and say "I did it to make daddy proud".

The day he told me he wanted to join the army like you did my heart reached its borderline. I couldn't bear the thought of losing another man in my life to the war, but I also knew that if that is what he wanted to do, I would support him. And that is what me, Ellie and Angela did. Though luckily, our son always came back. Until one day, he decided to settle down with Ellie and I didn't have to worry any more.

Now, he is grown up, married, has a daughter named Carmen and a new little boy named Antony, after your middle name. When he told me that, I couldn't help but burst into happy tears. He may not have known you that well, but he has never forgotten you, not that I would let him. It was so hard to explain to him that his daddy wouldn't come back, but I let him know that you are always looking down on us. All of us.

Since you left this world, I have grown closer to all of our loved ones and they have never let me down. As much as they tried to convince me that there may be another man for me out there in this world, I knew there wasn't. It has only ever been you, no one else.

I instead have spent my time doing an assortment of things. I became a book editor like you told me I would, and I couldn't have found a job that made me happier. Books and stories are a sanctuary to get away from the real world for a little. When I wasn't doing that, I was helping out with things in relation to the army.

When I married you, I also married your army way of life, and I know that I wouldn't let that go. I have spent my time helping those wives left behind much like Angela did with me. Without her help, I don't know where I would be today. So I have helped others like she helped me, to give something back, it has been hard, but it was worth it.

Now I am older, I have had to give it up. I still live in our old house we brought all those years ago. No matter how many times EJ has told me I should move I just can't bring myself to do it. I still sleep in the same bed, just to help me remember the times you held me in your arms there. It may creak a bit now but it is still as comfy as ever. A bit different from the home in the woods you said we would buy when we were old, grey and retired, before you left.

But you have never left me, not really. I know you have been looking down on me always, and looking after me like you promised when we were little. And now, I know I will be with you soon. I can slowly feel the life draining from me but I know I am ready. EJ is settled now and everyone else is well. It is my time sooner than I think. Though this means that that after all of these years we will finally be together, my soldier man. Two hearts once again as one.

You made me so, so proud and I can never regret that you went to war, it may have been fate, and it may have been hard, but for me, our love has gotten us though. I love you Edward. My only love. Only ever you.

Our hearts are so close, that they will soon beat together in a new life.

Love

Bella

Xx

And as the pen was put down for the last time, so was this chapter in their lives, but not the story of their hearts.


End file.
